CVU Students Participate in Cultivating Global Kindness

Ms. Haley Vespa

Since 2008, the CVU art community has participated in the Memory Project, giving back to the world in just one small step through small acts of kindness.

According to the organization’s website, the Memory Project is a charitable non-profit that encourages teachers, students, and solo artists to participate in creating portraits for youth all across the world who have faced significant challenges such as abuse, violence, war, poverty, neglect,  and loss of family. “Our participants create these portraits to help children feel valued and important, to know that many people care about their well-being, and to provide a special childhood memory in the future.”


The portraits that participants create for children in traumatic life situations are meant to encourage self-worth, as well as let them know others see them and their struggles.

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Bohemian Rhapsody: Our Critic Casts a Skeptical Eye

Ms. Elena Crites

Bohemian Rhapsody, the movie titled after the iconic rock ballad/opera/hard rock anthem and directed by Bryan Singer, was released on November 2, 2018. The film follows the story of the spectacular Freddie Mercury, played by Rami Malek, and his band, Queen. The film is essentially just a pretty safe biopic – save for Malek’s extraordinary performance and the thrilling soundtrack you’d expect from a movie about Queen.

Bohemian Rhapsody

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Bohemian Rhapsody, the movie titled after the iconic rock ballad/opera/hard rock anthem and directed by Bryan Singer, was released on November 2, 2018. The film follows the story of the spectacular Freddie Mercury, played by Rami Malek, and his band, Queen. The film is essentially just a pretty safe biopic – save for Malek’s extraordinary performance and the thrilling soundtrack you’d expect from a movie about Queen.

 In the film, the story is presented that Freddie Mercury (Rami Malek), born Farrokh Bulsara, an immigrant from Tanzania, met a group of band members while they were performing as a band called Smile. After they lost their lead singer, the ambitious Freddie joined the band and they began to produce new music as Queen. The film follows Freddie’s life and various romantic relationships, as well as the changing dynamics within the band.

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The Eric Epidemic: A Look Into CVU’s Latest Fad

Ms. Elyse Martin-Smith

Kindhearted CVU junior Eric Couture has become an icon at CVU seemingly overnight during the beginning of 2019, but for a surprising reason. Small images of Couture have been placed in nooks and crannies around the school. Thanks to CVU junior Noel Bedard and some friends, it has been estimated that over 2,281 photos of Couture have been hidden around classrooms, bathrooms, and more.

The photo of Eric spotted outside of room 164, courtesy of Elyse Martin-Smith.

The photo of Eric spotted outside of room 164, courtesy of Elyse Martin-Smith.

In the beginning, the photo had started as a fun and accidental discovery between friends. They had no idea how much it would catch on in the CVU community. “Initially, our mutual friend, Avery Murray-Gurney, began messing around with the zoom on her phone camera and accidently took the photo. The photo itself was never even meant to exist,” said Noel Bedard.

“She found it inherently amusing due to Eric’s expression and therefore printed out about five of them and hid them around the school.” Bedard then asked for a copy of the photo. “Basically, I had to take it to another level.” With the help of some friends, more and more photos were placed around the school, slowly gaining more attention and positive recognition. What began as a few innocent photos quickly multiplied exponentially into a whopping multi-thousand picture operation, fueled by delightfully entertained onlookers.

Bedard and his comrades were inspired by a very dedicated and fun outlook on life. “My friend Calvin and I, Calvin being a discordian, a discordian basically being a religion devoted to pranking other people,” interested them in this daunting but epic pranking task.

The first “batch” of Erics were created on Monday, January 7th using CVU’s own library printer. Each batch consisted of 24 Erics, with merely five sheets racking up 120 Eric photos. As increasingly positive reactions emerged, so did the number of batches. The printing process became algorithmic, calculated considering defective Erics to total about 2,281 photos, which does not even include the amount that Calvin or others printed independently. The photos were meticulously and tediously hand cut before they moved onto the more fun stage of being hidden around the school.

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Behind the “Blonde”: The Welcoming Environment of CVU Theatre Crew

 Ms. Violet Hamel-Wade

An air of anticipation hangs in the dark theater. The whispers create a quiet hum as phones are switched off and parents shush their children. The pit orchestra has been playing a continuous tune that fades to silence as a spotlight appears in the center of the stage. Behind the curtains, nerves are high.

Some of these students are performing in their first CVU show, while others are about to have their first experience playing a main part. The voice of the audience falls silent and the show begins. The cast entertains the audience, singing, dancing and joking their way through the story. At the end of the performance, the curtain falls and families leave the theater, laughing and recounting their favorite parts. What they don’t see, however, is the team of students who live behind the curtains.

While the actors and actresses we see on stage certainly play their part in the magic of CVU’s theater productions, the crew is an essential yet often unnoticed piece of the production.

“I don’t think that the people who see the show really think about [the crew] at all. The cast is really good about understanding that they need and depend on the crew,” says Bronwen Cobden, the stage manager at Legally Blonde, the most recent musical at CVU.

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Female Superhero Films Take Flight

Ms. Elena Crites

Over the past decade, big screen adaptations of favorite comic book characters have dominated the theaters. The rising popularity of superhero films has left many viewers entertained and many production companies with pockets full of cash. Hollywood has become more and more invested in various superhero franchises such as the Marvel Cinematic Universe whose first movie, Iron Man, came out in 2008. So why was it that Wonder Woman, the first successful superhero movie featuring a woman hero, came out just last year?

Other than 2017’s Wonder Woman, it seems that every film made by industry leaders Marvel and DC Comics that have featured a female hero, such as Catwoman (2004), Elektra (2005), or even Supergirl (1984) were underwhelming. Not only did they tank in the box office with totals of $82.1 million, $56.7 million, and $15.3 million respectively, but they also received terrible reviews with scores of 9%, 10%, and 10% on Rotten Tomatoes. “…My belief was always that they didn’t work, not because they were female-led stories,” said Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige in an interview with Entertainment Weekly for the upcoming film Captain Marvel, “They didn’t work because they were not particularly good movies.”

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New Courses Broaden Art Department’s Pallette

Ms. Violet Hamel-Wade

HINESBURG, VT — Two new art classes will be offered at CVU starting semester two of the 2018/2019 school year.


Graphic Design, taught by Abbie Bowker, will occur during fourth block on white days. Bowker says that this class will “further the students understanding of design and visual communication.” Throughout the course, students will partner with the Principles of Business class that runs during the same block. “I’m looking forward to the collaboration between the classes,” Bowker says. “It creates a deeper appreciation for the team involved in creating PR [Public Relations] for a business.” 

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Burlington Art Hop Draws in Locals

Ms. Talia Loiter

Burlington, VT – The weekend of September 7th, Pine Street was closed off to make room for the annual SEABA Art Hop. Local artisans showcased their works with open studios, events, street stands, fashion shows, and exhibits, pulling in art enthusiasts and curious passersby.  

South End Arts Business Association (SEABA) puts on the Art Hop every year in order to “promote Burlington’s Pine Street corridor and its growing number of artists and businesses.” Their aim is to “represent [their] membership which includes many of the exhibiting artists and sites in the South End Art Hop.”

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CVU Art Department: NEW Art Gallery in December

Ms. Taylor Chatoff

Hinesburg, VT — Students from CVU present their art in the recently renovated art gallery outside of the learning center this December.

Courtesy: Taylor Chatoff

Courtesy: Taylor Chatoff

Abbie Bowker, a CVU art teacher, plans to open the gallery December 13th to kick off Celebrate the Arts Week.

The Arts Department originally applied for two grants, but received only one. The Val Gardner Trust Company gave a very generous amount of money to help pay for the expenses of the gallery.

The grant that was received for the gallery will pay for everything including the red paint, barnwood panels, special lighting, and other expenses throughout the process.

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The Community of Flynn Show Choir

Ms. Elyse Martin-Smith

Flynn Show Choir creates the perfect trifecta of singing, dancing, and acting for grades 4-12. On May 17-18th, the Flynn Show Choir had their performances in the FlynnSpace for the spring semester. These shows always sell out in the first few days that the tickets are available. One thing that is even more stunning than the talented performers is the sense of community that Show Choir creates, which is continuing to grow.

Flynn Show Choir consists of four groups; Juniors, Treble Teens, Mixed Teens, and Selects. Each group gets more difficult and advanced as you go on so that each skill level gets the most out of their time, just challenged enough so they can improve. This makes it so each group is unique in its own ways. To participate, you audition in the fall or the spring and are placed in one of these groups.

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New Snapchat Update Doesn’t Please the Users

Mr. Zachary Hark

Snapchat users around the world are deleting and cutting back on use of the popular app due to the recent update [] that occurred on February 9th, 2018.

With over 1.2 million e-signatures on, the Snap users of the world are pushing for a reverse to the update. Nic Rumsey, a Snapchat user from the UK and the petition creator, says, “There is a general level of annoyance among users and many have decided to use a VPN app, or are using other risky apps or steps, to go back to the old Snapchat, as that is how annoying this new update has become.”


Image from WikiCommons, showing Snapchat’s global reach

“The format makes it impossible to find what you’re looking for,” says Daniella Shaw, another Snapchat user from the UK. With over 187 million daily users, the new Snapchat update is projected to go into full effect by the end of this quarter, March 31st.

According to CNN, more than 40 million users have received the update since its release. “Some analysts believe Snapchat’s update could turn off the app’s key user base of teens and young adults in their 20s,” says Kaya Yurieff, a CNN reporter and Snapchat user.

Even Kylie Jenner isn’t the biggest fan of the update. Since her tweet on Thursday announcing she wouldn’t be using the app anymore, Snapchat’s stock has lost $1.3 billion.

Finn Wheeler, a user since 2012 says, “I’m sure that all of the distress will go away within the next month or so, once we get used to [the update], but for now it’s a pain in the butt.”

As always, the distress caused by the update will dwindle as users adjust to the new features of Snapchat, but until then users will have to use (or choose not to use) what they have.


One-Act Wonders Showcase Student Directors

Ms. Greta Powers, CVC Arts Correspondent

The CVU Theatre Program’s spring performance this year was comprised of the One-Acts, a series of four short plays. The plays featured were Attack of the Moral Fuzzies, Death, 13 Ways to Screw Up Your College Interview, and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. As usual, the spring performance rotates between a full-length play and the One-Acts each year. Since last year’s spring performance was the show, Get Smart, it was time for the students to step up this year and have a go at a new experience. This is the second performance of school year with the first being the fall musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The biggest difference between the One-Acts, the fall musical, and even last year’s play is that the One-Acts were student directed.

CVU Student Directors

Photo courtesy of CVU Theatre

Instead of an adult leading a group of high school students, four experienced CVU seniors lead their peers to create the production. Brenna Comeau, Weller Henderson, Alexa Kartschoke, and Halina Vercessi-Clarke were certainly up to the task of individually directing the short plays. What was possibly the most unexpected, though, was what these four directors would experience during their time as directors.

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Booth Shorn, New Boo Ban, and other Novelties at Winter Carnival ’18

This Year’s Winter Carnival Promotes New Changes

 HINESBURG, VT — The annual Winter Carnival that students look forward to was subject to some changes this year that received both positive and negative feedback.

 The Carnival involves many things such as a 3v3 basketball tournament, rail jam (if there’s snow), and many other festivities before the real competition begins. After wandering around the school and experiencing the various activities, students make their way towards the gymnasium for the main events: the trike race and class dances.


 Before these spectacles occur, classes are separated and the usual rally chants begin to get the students fired up. One of these includes the classic, “We got spirit, yes we do. We got spirit, how ‘bout you?” Students in the chanting section will point towards another class and that class will repeat the chant.

 Normally, once this chant reached the freshman class, the freshmen would be booed regardless of their “spirit quality. This year upperclassmen did not boo the freshmen.


 The booing was recently addressed as a hazing issue and many people believe that traditions should be changed in order to create a more welcoming environment for all students.

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CVU Satire Club Breaking News: Mall Santas Enter the Fray in the War on Christmas

Disclaimer: Satire can make you think, but it can melt the brains of literal-minded people; proceed with caution. –CVC Eds.

Mr. Calvin Lord, SC Correspondant

A group of heavily armed mall Santas have established a foothold in the Northeastern Mall, taking control of the toy store by replacing nerf gun bullets with light machine gun (LMG) ammunition capsules. The move was unprecedented; the small liberal platoon of Happy Holidays Armed Forces (HHAF) stationed at the gumball machines was caught completely off guard. Only three were able to escape before the escalator was blown up.

Alaska Guard conducts Operation Santa Claus

The rescue teams have managed to remove almost all civilians from the area, but there are still isolated pockets of people.

With the War on Christmas turning in this new and scary direction, it’s time to look back at how this really got going.

It has been three months since the Merry Mall Santas Association (MMSA) began their hostile takeover of malls on the east coast. Their army quickly overwhelmed the HHAF, as they have been able to recruit legions of Fox News fans ready to put on tights, pointy hats, and ammunition sashes, and charge to defend their brave, obese, chimney traversing leaders.

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Artist Profile: An Interview with Adam Glazer

Ms. Alyssa Gorton

Adam Glazer’s “Dark Desecration”

Vermont has been known for decades as a thriving place full of art, culture, and community. CVU does a great job of supporting young artists through many diverse classes, creative clubs, and celebrations, such as CVU’s Celebrate the Arts. Finding inspiration in your community is a great way to expand your knowledge of art, whether you are a viewer or an artist yourself. For this Artist Spotlight, I chose Adam Glazer. Adam is from Cleveland, Ohio and currently resides in Vermont. The reason I chose Mr. Glazer to be put under the spotlight is for his unique aesthetic—one I haven’t seen much of in our community. I reached out to Adam and he was kind enough to answer some of my questions about himself and his art.

When asked what inspired him to pursue art as a career, Adam looked back on interests of his youth, whether it be movies, video games, comics, or album covers. “I think as a kid back in 3rd grade, I started to get fascinated by animation and video games in the early to mid-1980s (I was truly a ‘stranger thing’ before Stranger Things), but ultimately it was the comics that gave me the means to communicate visually as an artist.” He states, “Because I was born deaf with congenital nerve damage in my ears, art was my second language. I got addicted to Dragon’s Lair which was one of the world’s first laserdisc games at the time which blended both animation and gaming together.”

Adam also touched on his love of anime before the genre exploded into American entertainment, and how that kind of animation influenced his artwork. If you spend just a few moments on Adam’s site and blog, Studio Inner Sanctum, you’ll see he also has a love of storytelling and movies. In fact, he talked clearly about how movies such as Aliens, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Godzilla, and others had inspired him through cinematography and visual design. Another part of Mr. Glazer’s inspiration is the early anime phenomenon in the late seventies and early eighties, with shows such as Battle of the Planets and Star Blazers. Though, Mr. Glazer said, one of the key moments in his childhood was seeing the album art for Meatloaf: Bat Out of Hell. Adam stated, “It was THAT moment that seared into my mind that I’ve wanted to create imagery that sticks with you long after.”

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Media Center Opens Its Doors

Mr. Cole Casale

“The media center room was built as part of a plan to create a way to teach video production and media literacy at CVU.” This was the foundation that the CVU video production room was built on, according to Gary Lambert. “Everything that is included in the room and the resources and help available are all in place so students are able to use them and become more comfortable with video production, which will, in turn, help to increase media literacy.”

At the beginning of the 2017-18 school year at CVU, students were surprised to see the new production room that had been built over the summer. With this surprise came many questions about the space. Lambert speaks about the room and all of the benefits that come with its creation.

Unfortunately, many students don’t feel like they can use it for a number of reasons. Lambert wanted to change this mindset, saying, “because we took over a classroom, it’s our space to schedule. It’s really just [for] anybody that is interested [in] coming into 118 and we can figure out a time that we can do what people are coming up with.” Students and faculty with an interest in learning to use this new resource are more than welcome.

Photo Courtesy of Charlie MacFadyen

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Movies: The New “It” puts fresh clown makeup on the King classic

Ms. Joyce Ke, CVC Film Critic

Be aware of the red balloons, people, and remember don’t talk to strangers. It, the 2017 edition, has just recently landed in theaters, and everyone is raving about it. Everyone who has either seen the first adaptation, read the book, or has heard all the good things about it, is going to go see it. The movie is definitely worth it if you’re into a good/classic horror movie.  

This adaptation was directed by Andy Muschietti who is a director and screenwriter. It is his second movie. The main actors Bill Skarsgård (Pennywise the Dancing Clown), Sophia Lillis (Beverly Marsh), Finn Wolfhard (Richie Tozier), Jaeden Lieberher (Bill Denbrough), Jack Dylan Grazer (Eddie Kaspbrak), Wyatt Oleff (Stanley Uris), Chosen Jacobs (Mike Hanlon), and Jeremy Ray Taylor (Ben Hanscom). The movie is roughly 2 hours and 15 minutes and is the second adaptation of the popular Stephen King novel (the first was made in 1990).

It is about the adventure of 7 kids based in Derry, Maine who works together to fight a clown they call “it.” The clown is named Pennywise, and he lives in the sewers under the town and wakes up every 27 years to feed on children and terrorize the town of Derry before he goes back to rest.

In the book, the story was told through two time periods of when the characters were kids and when they were older, but in this adaptation, they only focused on the time period of when the characters were kids. I thought that it was smart to only focus the movie on when the characters were children because it really got to the point of the movie. Focusing on the kids was also clever because it made the length of the movie shorter.

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Book Review: 23 Minutes

Ms. Julia Baker, CVC Book Critic


Title: 23 Minutes

Author: Vivian Vande Velde

Genre: Science Fiction

Pages: 176

Overall Rating: 6/10

Quick Summary:

Zoe, the main character of 23 Minutes is a loner living in a group home and hating life. She, like most characters in YA novels, has a secret. Hers is that she can time travel, but only back 23 minutes at a time (hence the title), and she can only do it a limited number of times. When she witnesses a bank robbery ending in death, she decides to be a hero and try to save the day.

 Reason For Rating:

Although this story is thrilling, (full of danger, time travel, a bit of awkward romance and lots of action) there’s almost no backstory or character development. Zoe is witty and sarcastic, but lacks a purpose. I’ll give the author credit: the story centers on 23 minutes, a pretty short time to show what a character is made of.  

But even so, without details Zoe seems bland and boring. Case in point: As I was writing this I couldn’t even remember her name, even though I had finished the book the week before!

Although the details didn’t match my expectations, overall the book was a good read. The amount of action was satisfying, as well as the conclusion. I liked the quick way it was written: in snippets like a collection of short stories rather than a book. It kept me on the hooked, and I read it front to back with no pauses – all in one sitting.

As well as having a less than standard format, this book has been proclaimed “One of the best YA books of 2017,” by websites such as Goodreads and BuzzFeed.

Overall, I’d recommend this book if you’re into action and a unique formatting, but if you need a strong backstory and character development than, this book might not be for you.

Kindness Drives Art in The Memory Project

Ms. Jam Giubardo 

Since 2008 CVU advanced drawing and painting and AP studio art classes have participated in the memory project. The memory project is a charitable nonprofit organization that invites art teachers and their students to create and donate portraits to youth around the world who have faced substantial challenges, such as neglect, abuse, loss of parents, violence, and extreme poverty. Not only does it have a huge impact on the kids who receive the portraits but it also greatly impacts the students creating the portraits.

The Program receives photos of children and teens from global charities operating residential homes, schools, and care centers in a number of different countries every year. Then They provide the participating art teachers with full-page color prints as well as digital copies of those photos, along with plastic sleeves to protect the finished portraits.  The art teachers then work with their students to create the portraits, and we hand-deliver them to the kids.  We always try to have several different portraits for each child, created by different art students and based on different poses.

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Since 2004 they have created more than 100,000 portraits for children in 43 countries. When this year is finished CVU will have sent 461 portraits all around the world: Ukraine, Peru, Afghanistan, Haiti, Ghana, Romania, Syria, and now Tanzania. This year children from Tanzania will receive portraits from CVU, and this is particularly meaningful because we have a student from tanzania participating in it. He really understands the plight of his people and has helped us form a more tangible connection to the people in the portraits. The students in advanced drawing and painting have practiced portraits for a couple months and will be completing them in water color. The AP art students got to choose the media they wished to complete the portraits with.

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Thanks to Fox & Seaton (& Co.) Another Yearbook is in the Books

Mr. Jacob H. Bouffard

Just like every other high school, at Champlain Valley Union, the yearbook is a big deal for all departing seniors. It is a way to look back at the “good ole days” in the future when feeling nostalgic. While the majority of students only buy a yearbook their senior year, there are a few who purchase the memories every year.

Instead of making a book for the seniors that shows their high school careers, the book sums up the year by showing all of the sports teams from the year (spring sports from the prior school year) and the drama departments musicals of the year. Basically everything that happened of significance in the year is put in this big book. There are also a few other things added in to award or take notice of a few students. This includes senior superlatives like who is most likely to fall asleep in class or be late to graduation.

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At CVU, a club is in charge of choosing and making what goes into the yearbook. There used to be a class with an English credit, but that was terminated several years ago. The club is lead by Debbie Seaton and Carol Fox with eight other students from all four graduating classes. This small group of kids work together to design a book that is pleasing for all students and goes along with the current trends. In the past, covers have included themes like Minecraft or other popular topics.

Editor Clara Schultz says, “I enjoyed going around CVU and taking pictures of people I know, and some that I didn’t know. I didn’t realize how many people I didn’t know until I actually had to go out and find some.” With a community so large, it’s hard to remember every person. The yearbook gives the opportunity for you to, in several years, look back at those you didn’t know that well.

As of Wednesday morning there are only 36 yearbooks left for sale. The books cost $65.00 and checks are made out to Jostens. Be sure to purchase next year’s book on time if you plan on getting one.


“Checkmate” says The Chittenden County Chess Club

Chess Tournament

By Mr. Jacob Bouffard

The age old game of two teams strategically moving along a board to trap the other has finally caught up with today’s youth. With all of the fast paced sports and leisure activities that are in style, a select few take their talents to the chess board. The Chittenden County Chess Club host several meets or just open sessions for those who see it as a hobby or are just starting out.

The Chittenden County Chess Club is apart of a bigger VT Chess organization. This organization hosts several tournaments over the course of a year, including high school matches. The 2017 Vermont State Scholastic Chess tournament resulted in a Victory for the South Burlington High School squad. With a total score of 12.5 points, leading the runners up of Rutland High School by six points.                                                        


Photo Courtesy of

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The Only Slightly Mediocre Pirates of The Caribbean: Jack Sparrow is Back At It Again

Ms. Halina Vercessi, Editor In Chief 

Image Courtesy of Wikimedia

Image Courtesy of Wikimedia


My initial reaction when I heard that a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie was coming out was “What? Seriously? Another one?” No matter how much a fifth movie seemed like a bit of an overkill and maybe just another way to rake in the big bucks from dedicated fans like myself, I was still excited to see Johnny Depp portray the iconic Captain Jack Sparrow and hear that kickass soundtrack again. Considering it is the fifth movie and that I heard it got bad reviews, I made sure to have low expectations as I entered the theatre. The film opened with a scene of a young boy and the quick flash of a piece of parchment saying “year seven” or “year nine”; it didn’t take much brain power: I knew immediately that this was the son of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan. Just to jog your memory, the 3rd movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, ended with Will Turner taking up the Captain’s position of the cursed ship, The Flying Dutchman. This meant that he and his crew could only return to land every ten years. And, I must say, it was quite a sight for sore eyes to see the ever-beloved character of Will Turner (played by Orlando Bloom) make an appearance after his absence from the fourth movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and his heart-breaking departure in the third movie. One driving part of the plot was introduced when Will’s son declared his determination to free his father from the curse.

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June Horoscopes With your Life Guru, Tahini Turner  

“Don’t worry, what you are about to read is only your destiny…there’s really no point in worrying  about it because you can’t change it.”


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Aquarius-I know you’re pumped up and feeling on top of the world after the Chance the Rapper concert, but let’s be realistic, you still need to pass math and you can barely find a matching pair of socks in the morning.

Sagittarius-Ok so I know your mom told you that pilates was an option for Grad Challenge, but just think about that for a second. 20 hours of your life stuck in a sweaty studio with fit people who know what they’re doing. Take it from someone who has experience, you and pilates may be feeling the cosmic energy flowing, but maybe just not for your Grad Challenge.

Taurus-Are male rompers a thing? I mean, I’ve been around this universe for a long time, but man o man, I’ve never seen the likes of these. I foresee a bright, fashion forward future for any of you brave gents out there who are willing to partake in this summer trend. You know who you are, if you’ve been thinking about it, now’s the time to let those inhibitions go and release the romper!

Gemini-I sense a summer romance coming your way for you Gemini folk. Someone tall, tan, and preferably someone who has access to free ice cream. Well that last thing isn’t a guarantee, but hey, the universe is full of surprises.

Virgo-Your life is about to change: meet Incredible. They are delicious dairy free frozen ice cream balls. They are pretty much heaven wrapped up into a frozen, vegan, gluten free, soy, and dairy free ball of wonder. Upon eating one of Incredible’s frozen treats (blueberry and vanilla is the best) you will meet the love of your life. Or at least someone to watch the premier of So You Think You Can Dance on FOX June 12th with.

Pisces-So you’ve been thinking about it for a while, those lingering glances in the shop window, the guilty bute of the lip, the wrinkled brow wondering if it’s the right decision. My answer is yes. Yes you should buy that pair of purple Crocs with the free ladybug button on the front. I promise that you’ll only regret it in 5 years or less.

Aries-I know I know, you’re still not over Valentina’s cringe-worthy and very disappointing “Lip Sync for Your Life” performance on Rupaul’s Drag Race. Don’t ever set yourself up to fail, learn those lyrics even if you think you’re so good that you could never be in the bottom two. Be prepared for as many things as you can. There are few things that are truly absolute in life, so, anything that is within your control, seize it by the horns, no matter how certain you know what the outcome will be.

Leo- Hey high school students, you’ve reached the final stretch. No matter how little motivation you’ve had during the course of the year, push through this, only 6 more miles. And, no, Mercury is not in Retrograde although, lately, it seems to feel that way. With the knowledge that even the planets are in your favor at this time of the year, muster up all the positive energy you can and power through the last two weeks. Summer and sunshine awaits you you on the other side.

Cancer- Wish you had taken that gap year right about now? Yes, it’s exciting and all that you’ve finished senior year but, your first year of college isn’t going to be rainbows and sunshine, especially if you plan on being academically rigorous and choosing a demanding major. Every AP you took and cried through, that could be all your classes next year. So, wish you took a gap year to get a breather before another potentially academically challenging year? Well, pretty much too late. We’re about positive energy here but you’ve gotta face the truth, the high school chapter is over and here comes four more years of new experiences, growths and struggles.

Capricorn- It’s time to cut the chains that keep you tethered to negativity. Even if that means isolating yourself from your friend group for a bit. People that constantly bash on you, no matter how much they’re joking, are not positive to be around. If you spend your social hours on high alert for drama, extreme dark humor and always feel like you need to have a witty, funny answer for everything, you will eventually burn out you chi energy. Put some energy into positive things in your life, focus on the people that make you laugh, but not at anyone else’s expense, the people that you can really talk to, without fear that it’ll go around to everyone else. Take a break from it, detach yourself from the negativity.

Scorpio- Hoping that your new relationship will last through the summer? It’ll take effort from both parties, so, if you’re the lazy one, time to make an effort to keep those connections. It is true, distance does make the heart grow fonder; however, too much distance makes the heart grow forgetful of fondness. Try to maintain a healthy balance.

Libra- Feeling a little lost and empty because you finished your new show on Hulu? Life’s a drag, right? Wrong. Get some perspective, would ya? Some people can’t afford a house, let alone afford the luxury of being depressed over Homeland being over.   

Sons of Pitches Rock Out for Senior Class

 Mr. Christopher T. O’Brien and Jacob C. Griggs

On Friday May 12, the Sons of Pitches put on a show to help fundraise for the 2017 senior class.


Photo Courtesy of Jennifer Lucy

The concert was held in the CVU auditorium. The group of acapella singers were able to bring in $600 in one night of performing. With a big crowd to support the singers, they provided entertainment for the night.   

CVU Senior and one of the leaders of the group, Nate Shanks, explained his thoughts on the event,  “It was a good way to get the student body and the public together to enjoy the night. It was also nice to see a big team effort from a bunch of different people.”

Another vocalist for the Sons of Pitches, and also a senior, Max Pudvar says, “We exceeded our own expectations for how the performance would go. It was awesome doing a collaboration with Urban dance and Rick (aka Hip Hop) I think everyone who attended enjoyed themselves and got their money’s worth.”

The crowd seemed to be pleased with the concert according to CVU Senior Hannah Munn. “I really love the courage and strength that they had during the concert.  Not going to lie it hit me straight in the soul when they sang Hallelujah.  This was also a great way to unify the class and bring in money.”  

Although the a cappella group sang throwbacks, they also sang newer songs like Gold Digger by Kanye West and Magic by BOB.

Photo Courtesy of Jennifer Lucy

Photo Courtesy of Jennifer Lucy

The $600 that were raised was from a one to five dollar donation upon entry. Michelle Fongemie, Laurie Gunn and an anonymous donor who attended the concert generously donated $100.

For the full performance on video, visit this youtube link –


The Aftermath of an EF5 Sharknado


Mr. Thomas Daley 

One highlight of this coming summer (for some) is the highly anticipated release of the fifth installment in the Sharknado film

Image Courtesy of IMDb

Image Courtesy of IMDb

series. Subtitled “Earth-O”, Sharknado 5 is poised to be more ridiculous than Sharknado 4: The Fourth Awakens, whose Star Wars-inspired title is ridiculous enough in itself. Critics accuse Sharknado of being bad and a waste of resources, but is a bad movie necessarily a bad thing? And are the Sharknado movies actually “bad”?

A Dysfunctional Storm Surge

The Sharknado films have consisted of plotlines as weak as the science behind a “sharknado” in the first place. The fifth movie is set up to continue the trend. Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! might have taken lead, Fin Shepard, and company to a space battle with some rogue sharks, while Sharknado 5 promises to take the world by storm.

Sharknado 2: The Second One started a tradition of including well-known personnel as actors. Al Roker along with the rest of Today gave an eloquent weather report of a Manhattan sharkstorm; Daymond John from Shark Tank also had a cameo that ended well for a “real” shark; and Sharknado 3 showcased Mark Cuban’s service as president. The fifth installment does not appear to be as star-heavy, but will include British diver and Olympic medalist Tom Daley.


Celebrities and all, a Sharknado film is far from conventional; however, unorthodox does not necessarily correlate with bad, especially in creative endeavors such as cinema.

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Sons of Pitches Rock Out for Senior Class

Mssrs. Christopher T. O’Brien and Mr. Jacob C. Griggs

On Friday, May 12, the Sons of Pitches put on a show to help fund raise for the 2017 senior class.  

The concert was held in the CVU auditorium. The group of acapella singers were able to bring in $600 in one night of performing. With a big crowd to support the singers, they provided entertainment for the night.  


Image by Jennifer Lucey

CVU Senior and one of the leaders of the group, Nate Shanks, explained his thoughts on the event,  “It was a good way to get the student body and the public together to enjoy the night. It was also nice to see a big team effort from a bunch of different people.”

Another vocalist for the Sons of Pitches, senior Max Pudvar, said “We exceeded our own expectations for how the performance would go. It was awesome doing a collaboration with Urban dance and Rick (aka Hip Hop) I think everyone who attended enjoyed themselves and got their money’s worth.”

The crowd seemed to be pleased with the concert, stated CVU senior Hannah Munn. “I really love the courage and strength that they had during the concert.  Not going to lie it hit me straight in the soul when they sang Hallelujah.  This was also a great way to unify the class and bring in money.”  


Image by Jennifer Lucey

Although the acapella group sang throwbacks, they also sang newer songs like Gold Digger by Kanye West and Magic by BOB.

The $600 that were raised was from a one to five dollar donation upon entry. Michelle Fongemie, Laurie Gunn and an anonymous donor who attended the concert generously donated $100.

Here’s the full performance, if you dare:

May Horoscopes With your life guru, Tahini Turner

“Don’t worry, what you are about to read is only your destiny…there’s really no point in worrying  about it because you can’t change it.”


Aquarius-You will soon be faced with a very important decision. Now I know making a choice between Raisin Bran or Lucky Charms may not seem as important as creating solutions to world peace, but one of these cereals provides you with empty chalk flavored calories, and the other, while a less visually appealing option, provides with you some seriously beneficial low fat high fiber crunch.

Sagittarius-You’re mom is going to ask you once again why you don’t come out of your room. I know it seems cool now, and it doesn’t seem like actual human interaction is that important during your free spirited, soul searching teen years, but if you don’t come out of your room at least once when you get home your parent is going to start thinking you have joined an underground group of terrifying teens whose greatest aspiration is to meet Dave Mustaine from Megadeth.

Taurus-Don’t buy the yellow sneakers you were eyeing at the department store, you may think it’s a good price now but wait till you meet my good friend Amazon. Yes, there is a $15 price difference so be sure to take me up on my cosmic advice and sport some (questionable) yellow shoes without breaking the bank.

Gemini-Next time someone tells you that you are rude, pull a classy Prince Philip and tell them, “I know I am rude, but it’s Fun”. Nobody can argue with a Prince after all, the Prince of England makes your case even stronger.

Virgo-If you’re feeling down, just think how disheartened the people of Delaware will feel when they learn that they have been dubbed the most boring state according to The Telegraph magazine. Maybe if you go out for some fun, dance, eat some tacos, join your local community band or singing group, the Delawareans can live vicariously through you.

Pisces-Ok, let’s get one thing straight Pisces, this may not be your week, but that is no excuse for you to skip motivational yoga for your secret Froyo cravings. I mean the cosmic energy flow of the universe may accept that fact that you’ve proclaimed yourself to be a vegan, but they certainly won’t be so understanding with your withdrawal from motivation yoga class.

Aries- New opportunities bloom for you this month. But, like any flower, your success started as a small, seemingly insignificant bulb that required nurturing and patience. You knew that starting from the bottom wasn’t going to keep you stagnant. With patience and persistence, you turned that brown, ugly lil bulb into a tall, bright, blossom. Moral of the story being you should really take up gardening, of course.

Leo- Watch out with that new promotion, don’t become over-confident at work. Keep your eye out for the people who smile at you but are stone cold in the eyes. You know, the people who have got your back but only so they can hit you over the head with the proper chance. Stay humble and try to make friends with people in the other departments, the ones you can assure won’t be trying to go for your job.  

Cancer- You’ve recently been rampant, searching every corner of the interweb for more information on whether or not “Your BBQ could give you CANCER”. So, after all that you’re finally convinced that your barbeque is carcinogenic…but will that really stop you from getting in the summer spirit and having a neighborhood barbeque cook-out? I’d say not! You can limit the amount you eat, but every once in awhile you gotta let that love shine through and take some risks in life, even if that means eating carcinogenic barbeque.

Capricorn- Something’s missing, You’re feeling trapped and unsatisfied, yet, you can’t seem to be able to pinpoint why…everything’s as it should be, right? You have no reason to feel unsatisfied, right? You feel as though you are being ungrateful, “I have so much abundance in my life, why on earth am I so unhappy? Don’t beat yourself up for feeling the way you do by trying to justify it. What matters is how you move forward with your life, in spite of these feelings.

Scorpio- Yes, you went on your first blind date last weekend. It seemed like it went well…at least in your head it did. In reality, he checked his watch several times, showed up late and made minimal eye-contact. You gave him your number and he said that he’d call…don’t waste your time sitting by the phone because, guess what, no matter how much you try to convince yourself that he lost your number or is trying to seem mysterious, he’s probably not that into you. It’s time to move onto other possibilities, the universe has a lot of positivity in store for you…eventually.  

Libra- You look around, everyday, and think, “What’s missing in my day?”, well Libra, prepare for enlightenment, because…it seems to be that you’ve been skipping out on breakfast, the most important meal of the day: breakfast. How can you expect your chi energy to be steadily flowing when you’re skipping out on quality nutrition to start the day? I would suggest Kellogg’s Honey Smacks.




Waiting for more of that SAINT LAURÉN Vibe: A Shamana SoundCloud Review

Mr. Keenan Reinsborough, CVC Music Critic

In the genre of lo-fi hip hop, you will struggle to find an artist more polarizing than Shamana. With lo-fi hip hop bubbling under the surface of mainstream for quite some time now, I would not be surprised if he was the first to cross over. Shamana’s sound is difficult to describe. At times it is moody and jazzy, at times it is distorted and booming. I really didn’t know what to expect going into his first full length album, considering his ongoing style changes and recent struggle with depression. What I wanted was a project that exemplified his sound in all facets, no matter how strange or left field, and I wanted some bangers.

For the most part, I got what I wanted.

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Opinion: Just Suck it Up and Go to Prom

Ms. Koko Vercessi, Dancer-in-Chief

So it’s that time of year again, the overly priced dresses, the last minute corsage order, the dinner date, and the awkward “who do I go with?” hangs in the air during prom season. You either see this historic event as an overly popularized and fantasized pointless tradition, or you are among those who are excited for a night of uncomfortable shoes, questionable music, and lavish clothes. If you would consider yourself a scrooge of the prom season, I would encourage you to finish this article and see if I can convince you otherwise of your argument that prom is a meaningless, overly hyped, expensive, antiquated tradition.

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Ducky and Andy going in style (80s style)

The Cambridge Dictionary defines prom as “a formal party held at the end of the school year for older students in high school.” That doesn’t sound so bad does it? Afterall, who doesn’t want to go to a party? Apparently more people than you would think, as over 63% of Americans think that prom is overrated. Before we start delving into why I think you should not miss out on this formal, guaranteed to be awkward, time old tradition, let’s get more closely acquainted with the history of prom shall we?

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